4/4/12
Facial hair on men is a subject fraught with subtext, whether it be youthful or mature appearance, nonconformity or conformity, an assumption of stylishly intellectual dignity or the channeling of Rasputin. Great figures in history from the apoeponimous General Burnside on down have contributed provenence to the practice.

And despite or because of it, chin hedges and lip caterpillers continue to recycle into vogue...(read on)

3/19/12
There is disagreement in the world as to the value of versatility. Some claim that putting all your eggs in one basket can be dangerous, others that chasing two hares catches neither. Still others say patience is a virtue and he who hesitates is lost and look before you leap and even a worm turns and three's a crowd. So much for aphorisms. It all seems to boil down to a simple homily: too much of anything is deleterious. O'course, we can also quote Mae West: "Too much of a good thing is wonderful!" ...(read on)

3/12/12
Scribes have ever pined for more efficient ways of getting words into indelible form and intrepid inventors have created them, from quills and parchment to fountain pens to typewriters and linotype to computer typesetting to WordStar, WordPerfect and Word. And given the current state of solar flare activity, possibly thence to styluses and damp clay...(read on)

3/4/12
And now, from Art Artifice and his Artificial Orchestra, a tribute to the good ol' battle of the sexes:...(read on)

2/25/12
The Future. Vast. Tumultuous. Dim. But not to all of us. Not to one woman, one extraordinary, exceptionally talented visionary, that uniquely gifted entity revealed to us only by the cryptic yet legendary name Madam Zuzu.

So let's bring her out right now!...(read on)

2/18/12

You'll Never Make A Living Playing Trombone¹

When I was just a lad²
I wanted really bad³
to play a shiny brasswind in the band...(read on)

2/11/12
Is it the sick dog? The sore shoulder? Seasonal financial and meteorological reversals? Or just the stopped up washing machine? Ah, the author's dilemma: where to begin? Every story has another story stuck to it, a small dog of uncertain pedigree firmly attached to its leg...(read on)

2/4/12
Birthdays and x-rays
showing what's inside you
giving you a guide to know your fate
birth and death are accidents waiting to happen
life is just what happens while you wait

Weh-he-hell now, it's my birthday!...(read on)

1/28/12
We of the liberal bent (or, as we like to call ourselves, "smart people") frequently tend to a fond, mildly envious view of Canada. Ah, that vaguely European enclave of civil tranquility nestled to the north, land of the esquimaux and national health care, of exquisite bread on every corner and generous, public-spirited hearts in every government office. Who do I have to marry to move there?

You of Canadian citizenship in my reading audience are cordially invited to laugh as long as you like...(read on)

1/21/12

Okay, it's no "Call me Ishmael." It isn't a patch on "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." It ain't even hardly "A screaming comes across the sky." (or is it...?) But what the heck, everybody has to start somewhere. Behold, oh my brothers and sisters, a published author...(read on)

1/14/12

We are noble citizens of the land of the free and the home of the brave, fully knowledgeable that no restraint upon our actions shall accrue from our righteous citizenship. Not for us the slaver's thong, the conscript's chains, the bondsman's burden. If we live well, if we truly observe the duly constituted laws of the land, pay our taxes and don't spit on the sidewalk, no other duty, not even the burden and privilege of the plebiscite, shall be imposed upon us, save only voluntarily.

Guess again, Sparky. Welcome to jury duty....(read on)

1/7/12
As a proud possesor of a recently-purchased smart phone, I'm here to announce that the software for belt-top computers is of necessity limited in its scope and power. Though the considerable cost associated with one is mitigated by the luxuriant apps available (it's a cell phone! It's a video camera! it's a web browser! it's a GPS! it's a tuner! a metronome! a calculator! a...), only the more data-centric uses hold much value. Apart from being a cell phone, of course — it does that pretty well.

At least one program, however, carries the necessary heft and flow to qualify as a certified Killer App, and that's the Kindle emulator...(read on)

12/31/11
My friend is an internationally renowned folksinger — which is to say, unknown...(read on)

12/24/11
All over the world tonight, peoples of every land celebrate the Festivals of the Lights...(read on)

12/17/11
It's been a year since I posted anything on this, the good old Thaddeus Gazette. I have nothing to attribute this to except...(read on)

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